Soda stealing. Random, I know.

BUT.

I have a friend who works for his family’s eatery. The kind where you order your lunch at the counter, take your number back to your table and fill up your own drink at the soda fountain.

The thing is- EVERYDAY he’s got a story of someone ordering water and then hittin’ up the lemon-aid or the Diet Coke. And there’s no profile for the typical soda thief, either. No, no… you can’t spot this one. All shapes and super-sizes.

One day it’s the white collar business guy who after being informed that, “Oh. Um. We actually charge for Sprite…” arrogantly throws a waded up 2 bucks in the direction of my friend and mumbles “Pssh, keep the change.” (‘Cause all of a sudden 2 bucks ain’t nothin’ for this high-roller.)

Another day it’s the sweet little old couple who, “oops- didn’t realize…” (Mmmm-hmmm.)

And the next day it’s some guy who claims he has diabetes and needs sugar- STAT. (Hard to argue with medical necessity.)

So what does one do?

Punish the non-free loaders by raising prices for everyone?
But this is more about principle than profit.

The cups are already totally different. (Small clear ones for water- standard waxy ones for pop.)

And no, the fountain can’t be moved behind the counter- too complicated with all the hoses and carbon, etc… and it really would impact productivity.

I suppose they could sell bottled water only, but again- that punishes the innocent.

My suggestion is Marshal Law.

I say put up a bell. Customers who catch other customers stealing soda just ring the big cow bell… and point. (I think pointing would be a nice little addition) Perhaps an employee with a handy Polaroid camera can also snap the offender’s picture to post on a Cheap-Skate Wall of Shame.

…And maybe everyone could break into song. A little jingle of sorts. Like when the guys at Cold Stone get a tip. Only the goal of this jingle is to humiliate the culprit, not the employee.

Thoughts? I mean. Really. What would you do?